Trivia & Facts

Fifth Annual Geezer Test! Are You “Older Than Dirt?”

12. c) Building toy structures.

13. a) A popular TV series called “Leave it to Beaver,” perhaps the most unrealistic, misleading and shallow depiction of family life ever produced for TV.

14. c) Children’s play.

15. a) Baseball cards in the spokes. Who among you never did this?

16. a) “1914 – Good then, 1935 – Good now, 2000 – Good always,” read the back cover of a 1935 Toy Tinkers catalog. Charles H. Pajeau and Robert Pettit, the founders of The Toy Tinkers of Evanston, Illinois, and the creators of the TINKERTOY construction set, knew that the “Thousand Wonder Builder” would continue to inspire the imaginations of children because of its easy-to-use, yet versatile construction system. They’re still made today, now by Hasbro.

17. a) Getting picked last. As an expert on this particular humiliation, I assure you that getting picked last was far better than not getting picked at all.

18. b) Soap. I wonder? Was this a regional thing? Where I grew up, spanking was the generally preferred method for punishing any childhood misdemeanor. We wouldn’t have known a “time out” to save our lives.

19. a) Kill someone. I can’t remember ever seeing the Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers or other cowboy hero actually kill someone. They would just shoot the gun out of the bad guy’s hand. There was no blood, no violence, just folks wondering who that masked man was.

20. c) 1957 Ford Thunderbird. Hard one but, let’s face it, easy answer. The option was available only that year.


17 – 20 correct: You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. See Having “Senior Moments?” Enjoy them. Now if you could only find those glasses of yours.

12 – 16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy, ready to muck up others.

0 – 11 correct: You are one sad excuse of a geezer. To redeem yourself, pull your yellow pants up around your chest, use your ear hairs for a comb-over, and shout “This country’s going to hell” five times. Girls? Oh, I can’t imagine any senior woman worth her grey being that obtuse and not being able to lie well about it.


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