Are you a senior dater? Senior dating is…well, it’s different from dating when we were younger and met someone in person. IRL, in real life, is the acronym used nowadays.
I’m offering up a few pointers to new daters and the date-weary. Online dating is not for the tender, but then neither is getting older.
Never take online dating personally and never give up looking.
The point is that if you take online dating personally, you’ll give up too soon before you meet your honey.
Online dating can be fun, but you’ve got to approach it with the right attitude and the energy to see it through.
You’ll need to meet a lot of people, and senior daters aren’t always willing to put in the time. Many don’t have the tenacity to hang in there.
If you are meeting new people, which is what online dating is all about, you won’t like them all. You are deciding who is worth your time. Therefore, rejection is a normal part of the dating process.
When you’re rejected, move on. Meet someone else soon, and don’t look back. You’re that much closer to your special person than you were before the rejection.
Never bore. Don’t write a boring online profile and don’t write boring emails.
You’ve got a profile up to get possible dates to contact you. Put details in there that interest them. Tell them about your trip to Disneyland or your love of thin crust pizza. You want them to email you back and ask a question. Make it easy. Put some meat in your profile, even if you’re a vegetarian.
The same goes with emails. Something a tad provocative (with taste) or a question that requires a full sentence to respond goes a long way. Don’t settle for: I like your profile. Read mine. We might have something in common.
You can do better than that by grabbing something from their profile and asking a question or commenting. Does he like to play tennis? Ask if he’s up for a tennis meet and coffee afterward.
Never make a first meet or a date into an interview.
Sometimes, senior daters tend to focus too much on inappropriate details. They are in a hurry to begin a relationship and feel that interviewing will speed up the process.
Don’t quiz anyone on their divorce. Don’t quiz them on finances either. You may think you’re being subtle, but it won’t work. Look at each one of your meets as if they’re the best thing since the iPad.
Don’t forget to flirt a little.
Never spend more than a few minutes talking about your family.
You may disagree, but too many senior daters dwell on their grandchildren on a first meet. I’m talking dwell, as in going on and on about your loved ones. Seriously, you need to establish a connection based on mutual values and passions shared. There’s plenty of time for the joy of family.
Later, when you’re dating.
Never talk about your health problems or your impending surgery.
For heaven’s sake, that means no talking about that prostate, varicose veins or…you get my point.
Keep it light. Yes, you may have challenges health-wise, and who doesn’t? Save it for later, when you can both share and certainly when you know each other better.
About the Author
Shirley Goldberg is a novelist, blogger and dating expert for seniors. Her website midagedating.com offers a humorous look at clicking. Or not clicking. Shirley’s novel, Middleageish, is coming out in the fall of 2019, and her friends like to guess which dates in the novel are true stories. Connect with her on Middleageish, her Facebook page.
More Dating Tips For Seniors
Being over fifty is not the end of the world as seniors too can now find love through senior dating sites. Below are some tips to help seniors to find the right free dating partner.
The first step towards finding your senior dating partner is by registering on an online dating site. Be sure to complete your profile with interesting details about yourself such as your hobbies and other things you enjoy doing. Next, you will need to add a nice photo of yourself to increase your visibility on the site. Once your profile is complete, it is time to browse other members’ profiles. Check out other free dating profiles to find someone who captures your interest. Contact them to get to know them better using the email or chat features on the site. If you are comfortable using a webcam, you may even chat via video and reveal yourself to your potential match.
Senior Dater First Date Advice
The aim of contacting your potential partner is to have the opportunity of meeting them face to face and getting to know them better. You may arrange your first date at a convenient venue such as at a restaurant or cafe. If you decide to do lunch, combine it with another fun activity that will give you more topics to talk about as you enjoy your sumptuous meal. Save dinner for later, as this may be too intimate for a first time meeting with an online dating partner. Alternatively, if you share similar interests, you may get into an activity such as visiting an art gallery together which will help you to instantly hit it off.
It is important to relax and enjoy yourself, while all the while ensuring that you remain safe and smart. Trust your instincts and always have an exit strategy in case things do not work out. Remember to meet in a public place where you feel comfortable and inform your loved ones or friends about where you will be in case they need to reach you. If you are not quite ready to have a one on one date, you may instead opt to join a group dating club or go out on a group date.