Senior Citizen Alphabet: 26 Funny Sayings for Seniors

• By Suddenly Senior · Feb 27, 2018

Here’s our take on the senior citizen alphabet and one you may know too well.

A,B,C,D….

A for arthritis,
B for a bad back,
C is for chest pains.
Perhaps cardiac?

Senior Barbie: New Barbie Doll?

D is for dental replacements and decline,
E is for eyesight–can’t read that top line?
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I’d rather not mention.)

H high blood pressure (I’d rather have low)
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L for libido–what happened to sex?

Good Sex Sayings

Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack when they’re bent (Please forgive me, my memory ain’t worth a cent)?
N for neurosis, pinched nerves, and stiff neck
O is for osteo- and all bones that crack.

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few
Give me another pill; I’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasiness. Wine or flu?
R is for reflux– one meal turns into two

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears?
T for tinnitus–I hear bells in my ears.
U is for urinary: difficulties with flow
V is for vertigo, that’s “dizzy”, you know.

W is for worry, now what’s going ’round?
X is for X-ray– and what might be found.
Y for another year I’ve left behind
Z is for zest that I still have my mind!

Have survived all the symptoms my body’s deployed,
And kept twenty-six doctors gainfully employed!

Did you enjoy our senior citizen alphabet poem? Check out some of the other funny poems and jokes on Suddenly Senior.

Here are a few more we think you’ll appreciate:

• Dr. Seuss on Old Age and the Golden Years Poem
• Best New Jokes Compilation: Mostly Old Jokes

Want some more senior citizen fun with alphabets? Check out these amazing options:

• Amazon’s Choice – Campbell’s Alphabet Dice Game
• Amazon #1 Bestseller – 60 Extra Large Print Word Search Puzzles Book With Coloring Pages