Check out these funny benefits of growing old. Looking from something more serious? Read our 10 Awesome Growing Old Advantages when you’re finished laughing at the list below.
(and you thought there weren’t any)
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won’t wear out.
- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- You can eat dinner at 4:00.
- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
- You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
- You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- You consider coffee one of the, most important things in life.
- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
- Your ears are hairier than your head.
- You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- Your eyes won’t get much worse.
- You got cable for the weather channel.
- You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
- You send money to PBS.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally, down to a manageable size.
- You talk about “good grass” and you’re referring to someone’s lawn.
- You have great friends who think of you often, and send you lists like this!
Senior Citizen Contest
Win Our $1k Grand Prize
Weekly prizes awarded
This top-ranked site now has over 4,000 pages of humor, nostalgia, senior advocacy and useful information for seniors 50+. Updates weekly!
The daily e-zine for everyone over 50 who feels way too young to be old.
"...the perfect mix of Andy Rooney, Dave Barry, and Garrison Keilor, combining knee-slapping humor with useful information and genuine compassion."Retired.com
"Thousands look to and trust Suddenly Senior. Other Websites pale in comparison to the real-life, intimate look into senior lives. What sets apart Suddenly Senior is its blistering honesty and its incomparable encouragement. Millions need guidance."Suzette Martinez Standring
"Best Senior Site ever on the Web! Great, up-to-date information on how seniors can save money on drugs. Wonderful nostalgia. Hard-hitting senior advocacy pieces that get read in high places. Wonderful humor. It's all at Suddenly Senior."Alexa.com