Sibling Taking Advantage of Elderly Parents: Signs & Solutions

Sibling Taking Advantage of Elderly Parents

If your sibling is taking a significant amount from your parents, they will no doubt find it hard to cover their own living expenses. This is something that you should be able to see when you spend time with them.

A person’s income will generally stay the same once they reach retirement. Unless they have pensions that are waiting to mature, your mom and dad’s money will remain at the same level.

Making any subtractions from their bank account have a visible impact on the way that your parents live. Of course, this can be harder to see when your parents have substantial savings.

Withdrawal/Emotional Changes

Many parents don’t realize that they are being exploited by their children, and this means that it will have little impact on their emotions.

Other people, though, will notice this sort of issue, but might not think that they can do anything about it. This can lead to severe changes in someone’s emotional state.

Many people feel depressed, anxious, and hurt that their adult child would exploit them.

Stories That Don’t Match

As mentioned previously in this article, lies are often a common element of the process of elderly exploitation. While this can make it even harder for you to get to the bottom of what is happening, it can also act as a clear sign.

When you hear something from both your sibling and your parents but they don’t line up, it’s always worth asking questions.

For example, your brother or sister may tell you that they were able to afford the money for their new car because of a promotion at work. When you speak to your parents, it could turn out that they gave the money to your sibling because they had a different story.

While a lie like this can seem small, it can end up having a very negative impact on your parents when they’re trying to help.

Solving The Problem Of A Sibling Exploiting Your Parents

With an issue as complex as this, it would be impossible to come up with a universal remedy. Not much will solve the whole thing in a flash. Instead, families have to work very hard to make sure that a problem like this can be cleared up without rifts being caused. But you can take steps to get your family on the right track.

Opening A Dialog

Talking about an issue like exploitation can be very difficult. You have to keep in mind that this is often the only way to get to the bottom of a family struggle, while also being very careful with the way that you approach it.

Talking To Your Parents

Before you can confront your sibling about their exploitation, it will be crucial that you talk to your parents to make sure that you are right. This conversation should never start with accusing your sibling. You can look for ways to ask leading questions that will help you to find the answers you need.

Not only will this enable you to determine whether foul play is afoot, but it will also help your parents to see that they are being taken advantage of. This sort of conversation can be very difficult, but many people find success when they are careful.

Talking To Your Sibling

If it sounds like your sibling is taking advantage of their elderly parents, it will be time to have a conversation with them. You should always approach this with the assumption that they are both innocent and don’t realize that something bad is happening.

Many cases of exploitation aren’t deliberate, and it will be very hard to get your sibling to take you if they think that you’re attacking them.

You should work very hard to keep your emotions under control, while also preparing yourself for the questions you will ask. A question like “Do you think that mom and dad could afford to buy you a car?” is much better than telling your sibling that they couldn’t, giving them the chance to see the issue for themselves.

Working Out A Solution

Working out a solution to something like a sibling taking advantage of elderly parents can be difficult. While you both may be aware of the issue, changing something like this is often an uphill battle. Your sibling is likely to be unwilling to change and your parents will find it hard to stop the process.

Before you dive into this, it’s worth keeping a few things in mind. The relationship you share with your parents and your sibling can be on the line when you embark on this sort of process. This means that you need to be very careful with what you say.

Alongside this, it’s also worth considering the impact your sibling is having on your elderly parents compared to the impact of a damaged relationship.

An Internal Solution

Solving an issue like elderly exploitation will always be best done internally. While this option isn’t always possible, it can make the whole thing far less difficult if you handle it in a civil manner amongst yourselves.

This process will always have to begin with some communication, and it can be best to approach your sibling before you speak to your parents.

Talking to your sibling will give them the chance to realize that they’re taking advantage of your elderly parents. This will hopefully prompt them to stop in their tracks. Of course, it is rarely this simple, though, and you may find yourself facing a sibling who refuses to acknowledge that they’re doing something wrong.

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