Senior Stories

Andy Rooney on Just About Everything

An uncommon, funny look at the common things in life Andy Rooney on Vegetarians: “Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter.’” Andy Rooney On Prisoners: Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks apiece, I’ll take a few prisoners into my house….

Senior Stories

Andy Rooney’s article on “In Praise of Older Women”

Theft of name for vicious e-mail more hurtful than the loss of suitcase or $20 Two years ago, someone broke my car window, took some things from the glove compartment and a suitcase I had left on the back seat. Twenty years ago, I had a motorbike stolen from my garage. In the Army, at…

Humor

At the Beep: What to Put on Your Answering Machine

Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages: 10. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine….

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