A is for arthritis,
B is for bad back,
C is for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight–can’t read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I’d rather not mention and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches) H is high blood pressure
Iis for itches, and lots of incisions
Jis for joints, that now fail to flex
L is for libido–what happened to sex? Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack all the time. (But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my M-memory from time to time)
Twelve Gifts of Aging Nobody Wants
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack
P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu? Give me another pill and I’ll be good as new!
R is for reflux–one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears on how to pay my increasing medical bills!
T is for tinnitus–I hear bells in my ears and the word “terminal” also rings too near
U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)
V is for vertigo, as life spins by
W is worry, for pains yet found
X is for X ray–and what one might find
Y is for year (another one I’m still alive) so Z is for zest
For surviving the symptoms my body’s deployed,
And keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.