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By Frank Kaiser
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My wife, Carolyn, and I are three miles up, falling, tumbling, soaring through space at 174 feet per second 120 mph or "terminal velocity" and all I can think of is: "Wow! I'm flying. I should have worn a jacket."
Carolyn shouts to me, "A fine mess you've gotten us into, Ollie!" Carolyn Kaiser, foxy senior citizen, at 15,000 feet, jumping from a perfectly good airplane.>>>> Below lie the vast Atlantic Ocean, the Indian River, and the Kennedy Space Center. All of Florida's splendid and beautiful Brevard County is my panorama. Suddenly Trivia: What is the ratio of skydiving jumps to deaths, according to FAI/IPC: a) 1:10,555, b) 1:26,968 c) 1:64,091, d) 1:93,002 Longtime readers of this column will not ask why we jumped from a perfectly good airplane. They already know that Carolyn and I take to the air as an annual rite. We have experienced fixed-wing, bi-wing, short-wing (stunt), helicopter, even gliders, on our explorations. Don't Come Crying to Us! Had apprehension reared its ugly head, it would have occurred at Titusville's Skydive Space Center's office "HOME OF FLORIDA'S HIGHEST JUMPS - 15,000 feet!" There we signed and initialed 19 times a legal document entitled "WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!" This 9-page caution graphically explains that parachuting activities are inherently dangerous and one can be seriously injured or killed while participating in this sport. Summed up it states: "Don't you or your heirs come crying to us if the worst happens." A word of caution: If you're the kind of person who at first doesn't succeed, perhaps skydiving is not for you. Suddenly Trivia Answer: c) 1:64,091. In a recent year, 29 died from skydiving accidents, over 140 died scuba diving, 856 bicycling, over 7,000 drowned, 1,154 died of bee stings, and 80 by lightning; 43,990 were killed in highway accidents. There were 1,171 boating fatalities, 235 airline deaths, and 1,164 fatalities in light aircraft general aviation accidents. Cost of a Tandem Skydive at the Skydive Space Center is $159.95. Video package with still photography is an additional $89.95. Call 1-800-823-0016. © 2006 Frank Kaiser GET SUDDENLY SENIOR EVERY FRIDAY. SIMPLY SEND A BLANK E-MAIL TO GET-SS@SUDDENLYSENIOR.COM GET UP-TO-THE-MINUTE NEWS EVERY DAY ABOUT MEDICARE'S NEW DRUG PLAN. SIMPLY SEND A BLANK E-MAIL TO GET-RXNEWS@SUDDENLYSENIOR.COM.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE HELPFUL LINKS BELOW THIS WEEK AT SUDDENLY SENIOR Learn about Life Settlements, ancient words of wisdom, listening to Fibber McGee and Molly today, when to best take Social Security, 10 tips on finding assisted living, what it's like to be 80, life's 13 rules, what happens when kids revise the Bible, and how to know when you're mature at http://www.suddenlysenior.com/othergoodstuff.html RECENT COLUMNS HOW TO FIX PLAN D OVERNIGHT I called my Congressman today to ask him how big his donut hole is. Guess what? He doesn't have a donut hole. Nor does he have to pay out of pocket for drugs not covered. In fact, the People's House lives by very different rules than you and I. Is that fair? READ FRANK'S MODEST PROPOSAL THE DAY THE PRESIDENT THREATENED Here's how to get President George W. Bush to send a personal Birthday Greeting to someone you love. Ex-presidents Clinton, Bush, Reagan and Ford, too. It's a nice gesture, but watch out! It can cause BIG TROUBLE. READ FULL STORY ALIENS IN CONGRESS Wouldn't that explain a lot? Who else but aliens, posing as "representatives of the people," would dismiss their constituents' biggest problems, listening only to and voting only for those who give them big money? For proof, READ FULL STORY DISGUSTED WITH PLAN D? While Medicare's Plan D sinks under the weight of political bribes and drug and insurance giveaways, a recent Congressional report concludes the drug prices offered by Part D drug plans are “over 60 percent higher than the prices available to consumers in Canada…almost 3 percent higher than the prices available at Costco.” READ FULL STORY WANNA LIVE FOREVER? Through molecular manipulations, doctors soon will be switching off so-called death genes, reversing aging by craftily messing with chromosome caps, and creating replacement organs on demand. But have you considered the downside to living forever? READ FULL STORY
THIS WEEK'S BEST SENIOR CARTOON THIS WEEK'S BEST 222 SENIOR SITES http://www.suddenlysenior.com/links.shtml Want to get "Monday's Best Jokes" e-mailed every week? Send blank e-mail to get-jokes@suddenlysenior.com To get the Suddenly Senior column, absolutely free, send blank e-mail to Get-ss@suddenlysenior.com NEW! Get the latest Medicare and Canadian drug store news e-mailed almost every day, send blank e-mail to To unsubscribe to the Suddenly Senior column, send a blank e-mail to Remove-sslist@suddenlysenior.com To unsubscribe to This Week's Best Jokes, send a blank e-mail to Remove-jokes@suddenlysenior.com HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, EVERYONE! Frank Frank Kaiser frank@suddenlysenior.com http://www.suddenlysenior.com/ |
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