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SUDDENLY SENIOR’S
“UNDER THE KNIFE”

A personal look at senior health and longevity


The Pitfalls Of Passionate Caregiving

When I had a heart attack last week, I wasn't about to call 911. My wife, Carolyn, has cancer. She needed caring for. Next thing in knew I was in an ambulance, sirens screaming.

Exploring Where No
Man Has Gone Before

My colonoscopy and endoscopy procedures were broken down into three stages: Bathroom; Biopsy; and Babbling. Read detailed do's and don'ts about these lifesaving tests that push your humility, dignity, and humor to their limits. Bottoms up!

Here's everything you ever wanted to know about senior moments and their cause, and surefire advice on what to do about them.

Read this inside story on how it feels to be poked in the eye with a knife and enjoying it, not to mention seeing far better and brighter when it’s all over.

How to Add 5 Years to Your Life (Sure you deserve to?)

Straight from the wise pages of Esquire. What you can do for your heart, your skin, your knees, your mouth, your eyes, and your brain to add five years to your life. It's so e-a-s-y.

Have you started shrinking yet? You will. Here's a strong case for requiring a course called "Aging Process 101" to be taken some time before we must learn by doing.

Blame it on the flu vaccine shortage. Senior men are getting loopier every day. AARP says the cause is male menopause. Frank thinks it's the gazillion political ads we've been forced to endure.

I just learned I’d live to age 88. But do I really want to? And what must I give up to end up looking like Yoda? Learn the dilemma of old age, and while you’re at it, how old you’ll be when you croak.

Here's everything you ever wanted to know about senior moments and their cause, and surefire advice on what to do about them.

HEY CHROME-DOME! Here’s everything you‘ve wanted to know about rugs, but were afraid to ask. Step aside, Fabio. Big, bad and sexy BaldMan is here!

Twelve days after Carolyn's 65th birthday, she was getting a new, younger face sculpted in a Costa Rican hospital. For about a fifth the US cost, she had a US-trained, board certified doctor, the best hospital she'd ever seen, and recuperation under a volcano in the rain forest.

Got Smile?

Or, How I Got Dental Implants in Costa Rica, Saved a Bundle, And Learned to Laugh Again

Here’s the story of how Carolyn went to Costa Rica for both dental implants and a facelift and came back with a new look and outlook. All for far less than US prices.

Do You Really
Want to Live Forever?

Through molecular manipulations, doctors soon will be switching off so-called death genes, reversing aging by craftily messing with chromosome caps, and creating replacement organs on demand. Consider the downside of longevity.

If you haven't had an invisible moment, you will. By the time you're 85, hardly anyone ever sees you.

I've given up all my bad habits, and what's my reward for now leading a dull life? A shrinking bladder and a prostate bigger than a 20-year-old's ego. I'd say more, but I have to go.

We know your little secret. Aren't you a bit long in the tooth to be chatting with an imaginary friend? Isn't talking to yourself a sign of insanity? Before the white-coat boys with nets start heading your way, read this.

Some men even use their ear and nose hairs to camouflage their bald spots. Frank wonders, what should he do? A Trump? A Giuliani? A Yul? And who knew comb-overs are patented?

In Florida, geezers rule. If a politician wants to stop us from driving, we just shoot him. It's the law down here.

One minute you're a male sex object, the next, you're a lecherous old fart with bad breath, bad teeth, and probably badly in need of Viagra.

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