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“OLDER THAN DIRT”
GEEZER TRIVIA QUIZ

Yet Another Chance to Prove
That Your Memory's (Almost) Intact

By Frank Kaiser

 

(OF ALL THE SUDDENLY SENIOR TRIVIA QUIZZES, THIS HAS BEEN MOST POPULAR THROUGH THE YEARS. TRY IT!)

1. Where did headlight dimmer switches used to be located?

    a. On the floor shift knob
    b. On the floor, left of the clutch
    c. Next to the horn

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle has holes in it. For what was it used?

    a. Capture lightning bugs.
    b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
    c. Large salt shaker

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?

    a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce
    b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
    c. Milkmen left deliveries outside doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?

    a. Blackjack
    b. Gin
    c. Craps

5. What method did women adapt to look as if they were wearing stockings when none was available due to rationing during W.W.II?

    a. Suntan
    b. Leg painting
    c. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?

    a. Studebaker
    b. Nash Metro
    c. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?

    a. Strips of dried peanut butter
    b. Chocolate-licorice bars
    c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

8. How was Butch wax used?

    a. To stiffen hair cut into a flattop so it stood up
    b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
    c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?

    a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
    b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
    c. Long pieces of string or twine

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?

    a. Consider all the facts
    b. Ask Mom
    c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo

11. What was the worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex?

    a. A cold
    b. VD
    c. Cooties

12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey?"

    a. SUV
    b. Taxi
    c. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?

    a. Old Blue
    b. Paint
    c. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?

    a. Part of the game of hide and seek
    b. What you did when your mom called you in to do chores
    c. Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?

    a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
    b. Princess Sacajewea
    c. Princess Moonshadow

16. What comic used to say, "I'm a BAAAAAAD boy!"

    a. Lou Costello to Abbot, after a lecture by Bud Abbot, telling Lou how he screwed up
    b. The Lone Ranger to Tonto every time the masked man gave away a phony silver bullet
    c. Fibber McGee to Molly when she would open their closet door and 50 tons of junk came tumbling out.

17. Who or what was Sparkle Plenty?

    a. The second engagement ring Richard Burton gave Liz Taylor
    b. A character in the Dick Tracy comic strip
    c. A constellation in the Milky Way discovered in 1849 by A. J. Plenty

18. "Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?"

    a. Meatballs
    b. Dames
    c. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the group who made the song "The Gypsy" a hit in the US?

    a. The Ink Spots
    b. The Supremes
    c. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?

    a. Tony Bennett
    b. Zavier Cugat
    c. George Gershwin

ANSWERS

1. b) On the floor, left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the '60s to catch on.

2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.

4. a) Blackjack Gum.

5. b) Special makeup was applied followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. c) Cooties.

12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. c) Macaroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She started out as a young actress and was a lot less offensive than Thunderthud. Sadly, the young woman was killed in an automobile accident during one Doody season and her character was quietly dropped from the show. The following fall, however, they decided to reintroduce the Indian maid. Amid much fanfare and right on the air, in front of the peanut gallery, Buffalo Bob breathlessly introduced the new Princess Summerfallwinterspring!

16. a) Lou Costello to Bud Abbot, after Abbot would tell Costello how he screwed up again.

17. b) A highlight of Chester Gould‘s Dick Tracy was the birth in 1947 of a beautiful daughter to the characters B.O. Plenty and Gravel Gertie, named Sparkle Plenty.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. a) The all male, all black group, The Inkspots.

20. a) Tony Bennett and he sounds just as good today.

SCORING

17 — 20 correct: You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses.

12 — 16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy.

0 – 11 correct: You are a sad excuse of a geezer. Redeem yourself by declaring to everyone that the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

Copyright © 2007—Frank Kaiser

Care to comment on this week's Suddenly Senior?
Write to Frank at frank@suddenlysenior.com.


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HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, EVERYONE!

Frank Kaiser frank@suddenlysenior.com

http://www.suddenlysenior.com/

Suddenly Senior — the nationally syndicated column read by more 2.3 million over age 50 in 131 countries who've become senior way before their time.

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